Almost Content
by phoenixXVI
Summary: Series of One shots from the childhoods of the SHM, Kadaj, Yazoo and Loz. rated for possible violence and maybe a little psychological trauma later on.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, all normal disclaimers apply, not my characters yadda yadda yadda.

I am also aware that the "official" info is that the SHM are "Bodies of Sephrioths thoughts" cough Well that excuse just sucks, so here they are clones, which isn't the most inventive way to explain their exhistance but its better than the former. Anyways, they boys ages are as follows here. Kadaj 12 Yazoo 16 Loz 17 So definitely takes place before AC.

Almost Content

It was the most exhausted he could ever remember being. Yazoo ducked into the cave that he and his brothers had decided to use for shelter when the dark clouds overhead had burst into tears that chilled them to the bone. Even so there was a collective feeling of relief and something almost like happiness among the three silver haired boys.

They had finally escaped their captivity in the lab that had created them. It hadn't been easy and Yazoo was sure his arm was broken and that he would collapse to the rocky floor in a minute if he didn't just sit. His eldest brother, Loz, was ahead of him and carrying the youngest, Kadaj. The scientists had just finished a mako injection that had caused enough pain to make the youth pass out when Yazoo had seen the chance to make a move.

It was probably thanks to Kadaj that they had had their opportunity. All three had been in the main area of the lab instead of one of the observation rooms they were normally held in. It was an unprecedented occurrence as one of them normally took all five scientists attention when they were being "seen" as it was called.

Loz had been strapped down to a metal bed. Yazoo was lying in the bed beside him with a sedative running through his body, he was not asleep but it was very hard to move. When Kadaj started screaming and struggling he broke the restraints holding him and all the scientists had run to help hold him down.

There was a small table beside the head of Yazoo's bed. It was laid out with syringes and scissors and scalpels. The idea was like a flash through his mind that helped clear his chemically induced fog and released adrenaline to combat the sedative. He reached for the scalpel and sat up. Loz watched him with eyes full of curiosity.

Yazoo crept over to his bed silently and quickly and deftly undid the restraints motioning for him to be quiet. A scientist with blonde hair and wide hazel eyes turned and saw him. Yazoo didn't think, just positioned the small blade in his hand and threw it. It hit the man sharp end first through his neck. He made no sound but a kind of surprised gurgle as blood immediately soaked the front of his white lab coat and began dripping to the ground. His colleagues, still preoccupied with their struggling victim, did not notice. Loz got off the bed and stood.

Kadaj was still putting up a good fight and screaming at the top of his lungs. He got a glimpse over one scientists shoulder and saw Yazoo with more scalpels and blades in hand and Loz approaching them with anger blazing in his eyes. Kadaj understood and kicked up an even more violent struggle. He could feel unconsciousness dragging at him, the pain was sharp and cold in his veins and tried to wrest his focus and his will from him. He couldn't last much longer.

Loz grabbed one mans head and twisted it so it almost turned to face him. He quickly dropped him but he fell against the feet of another white lab coat. Their tormentors tried to raise an alarm, one tried to run but was caught in the back with several of Yazoo's blades. Another stood stunned in silence at the carnage around her, Loz quickly broke her neck and threw her against the wall. Behind him Yazoo was out of blades and the last scientist was approaching Loz with a stun gun. Yazoo went to call a warning but Kadaj rose up with the syringe they had used to inject him with the mako in hand. He spun the man around and stabbed him through the eye with the needle. Kadaj watched as he fell to the floor and spasmed. It was the end of his own strength and unconsciousness finally took its claim.

Loz caught him and carried him. Yazoo was now the scout. He searched hallways and stairwells for the way out while Loz followed and moved ahead when he gave the all clear. There were a few security points where they needed the retinal scan of a guard to get through and Yazoo dealt with it. There were regular patrols and he made good use of the next one to come by. Finding the mans head too hard to sever with just a scalpel he simply plucked out the eyes and held them for the scanner. The door he opened held the answer to some of their current problems.

It was a small armory. Yazoo motioned Loz inside and closed the door behind them. There were guns of every imaginable size and shape, swords, knives and other more unconventional weapons all on racks. There were two gunblades that caught Yazoo's eye. A small label beside them called them Velvet Nightmare. He smiled and lifted them, they seemed made for his hands and brought a kind of comfort. Behind him Loz had set Kadaj down gently and was fastening a weapon onto his arm that Yazoo had never seen before. Loz seemed to have figured it out and manipulated so energy sparked, it would pack quite a punch.

Yazoo turned his attention back to the weapons before him. Kadaj would need something as well, but what? A glass case off to the side caught his interest. Inside was a sword that looked normal at first until he saw the shadow blade. He opened the case and the second he did could feel the dark energy coming off the weapon. It had one normal blade and a twin that was ghostly in its presence and struck Yazoo as something very dangerous indeed. He picked it up, noting the name on the glass case it had been under. Souba. Loz had Kadaj in his arms again and Yazoo slid the blade into its accompanying sheath and strapped it to his waist.

More fighting, more running and finally they found the exit. But it still wasn't over. The guards and even members of SOLDIER were there to try and stop them. It had been a hard fight and even more so since Loz had Kadaj still unconscious in his arms. Yazoo handed him one of the Velvet Nightmare and did what he could with the close range fighting. Together they had gotten through but both had taken some hard hits.

Yazoo sat down hard on the floor and couldn't help the small cry that forced its way past his lips at the pain the motion brought. Loz set Kadaj down softly and came back to him.

"What can I do?" he asked as he crouched near his smaller brother. Yazoo took a moment to consider. They would need to set the bones in his arm straight. It was Loz who took the action and went to find a broken piece of wood. He then tore the fabric of his gray cotton pants into small strips. He looked at Yazoo who was leaning against the side of a rock. He was paler than normal, his lips a sick white color and smudges beneath his eyes. Loz hated to do this knowing it would bring more pain. Yazoo reached out his good hand and touched his face gently.

"Its alright, go ahead." His voice was like silk over steel and reassured him greatly. When he put the bones back into place Yazoo flinched a little but bit his lips to keep quiet. Loz splinted his arm quickly and waited until he felt Yazoo relax a little. He put an arm around his waist and helped him to stand and walk the rest of the way to where he had laid Kadaj.

The youngest was still asleep but shivering slightly in the cold. Yazoo laid down next to him and curled around him. Kadaj stopped shivering and went back to a deep sleep. Loz sat down near them, his back against a rock. He would have bruises but other than that he was alright. Yazoo moved again to rest his head on Loz's thigh, still holding Kadaj as close as he could without jarring his splinted arm.

Loz let his fingers caress Yazoo's hair and face in lazy motions that soothed away the tension of the day. Sleep, he said with his touch, I will keep watch and no one will hurt us again. Yazoo sighed and closed his eyes, almost content.

* * *

AN- okay this was originally supposed to be a longer full fledged fic, but it just didn't work out so it will be a series of one shots, most likely posted together but maybe not. Please Review! ) 


	2. Chapter 2

Strapped down. The thick bands around his wrists, ankles and chest cut into his skin, the blood eased the pain at first but then became sticky and just made everything worse. Struggling didn't help either but there was no way he would just lie here and take it. Everything was cold and white, the fluorescent lights over head hurt the eyes after a few minutes and made anything else that could have been in the room bleed into a bright haze.

What did they want this time? Yazoo turned his head to where he thought the door was. His eyes hurt and all he could make out was the I.V. stand beside the table he was on. The tubes ran different colored fluids into the back of his hand. It hurt, in a vague way that said it had felt that way for awhile.

The sound of the door opening and footsteps approaching. More white, white clad figures coming closer. Voices.

"He's conscious. Makes it a good time to start don't you think? Bring in the equipment."

More noise, squeaking wheels and the sound of things being pushed across the floor. Cold metal placed at his temples, he couldn't shake them off and someone just laughed when he tried.

"Everything is ready Sir. What setting should we start the subject at?"

"Start out somewhere in the middle. We can increase it from there."

"Sir, this had only been tested at the lowest settings-"

"You think I don't know that? Do as I tell you are find someone who will."

Electricity hummed in the room, at first there was nothing. Then it was like a pressure building in Yazoo's skull. It came from the metal attached to him. What is this trying to overwhelm him?

"By pushing the subjects brain waves to the max we can find out what he is really capable of. This one had proven to be extremely intelligent. Imagine what could happen if he was to be pushed to full capacity."

"Haven't others gone insane from this?"

"He is already insane. He has no morals, no sense of self really, he is the copy of the purest of madness."

The words were fading as the pressure was building. He couldn't hold it back any longer. It flickered in his minds eye and pulled everything he knew apart.

* * *

"Come here Kadaj. Stand up and take a few steps…"

His infant brother stood shakily. Looking at Yazoo as if asking _Is this okay? _Then he did it. One foot in front of the other, closer. He fell into Yazoo's arms laughing.

All around them the white walls and the small cameras that told them someone was always watching.

* * *

Loz was so much stronger than he was. When they fought together they were perfect. But when he left Yazoo alone it wasn't the same. Oh Yazoo could fight okay, but he didn't like being close. He didn't like the way his ten year old self was reflected in the dimming eyes of the man whose throat he had just ripped out.

The blood on his hands made him feel strange. Part of it was good and part of it was bad. He thought of what it would be like to do this to the people who hurt him and his brothers. That felt good, but this man had done nothing accept try to live. Yazoo didn't blame him for that. His blood felt dirty on his hands.

No, he didn't like to get close….

"I will take care of you. I know it hurts but you have to hold still"

The cuts were from a small blade that the man called 'scalpel' he had cut Yazoo with it ten times before he let him go. He had told him it was to see what he could take. The blood was running down his chest and back. Yazoo did not have the chance to tell him no. The man had hit him, hard. It made Yazoo's chest feel like it was being crushed and he couldn't speak and barely breath.

Loz was trying his best to make the blood stop. Yazoo was sitting on his brothers knee. He didn't say a word. He almost never spoke to the men in white but he would talk to his brothers. But when his blood ran he never spoke. It was as if talking would make it real. If he was silent then he could trick himself into thinking he wasn't really there. This was just a trick.

Kadaj was sitting on the bed near them watching the blood run down Yazoo's skin and Loz's leg to stain the white sheet red. As if in a trance the three year old reached out and gathered the crimson liquid on his fingers. He pulled his hand back staring at the blood as if it were talking to him. Then he licked it. Quickly, Like a cat would.

Yazoo watched his little brother. Kadaj licked until all the blood on his fingers was gone. When he was finished he looked up at Yazoo.

"You taste like beautiful."

* * *

Maybe this time the pain would finally kill him. The memories flashing through is mind threw everything into chaos. It was like he was being pushed onward, faster and faster until everything started to unravel. Soon the pain was the only thing telling him he was alive. He was a living breathing, thinking feeling creature. Someone was doing this to him. They were making him hurt like this. The pain was everything and nothing because he was nothing.

That was it, that's why they were doing this. He was nothing and therefore they didn't care. No one did. And when he was shattered into tiny pieces they would pull that white sheet over his face and he would disappear forever.

"_No my Son. I made you and I will not let them break you. Come with me."_

Who spoke? Did they mean him?

"_Come with me Yazoo. You are my Son. I will take the pain away."_

But the pain, the pain was everything. It was his existence.

"_No my Son. I am your reason for life. I will shelter you from them. Come with me."_

Go with her…. A reason to live.

"_Yes Yazoo. You will live for me."_

I will.

The pain stopped. Like a switch had been thrown. He knew the pressure was there still. The men in the lab coats had not shut off their machine. But it could not touch him. It seemed like there was a pane of glass between his mind and the rest of the world. An invisible barrier that separated him and held him apart.

"Your mind is your own now my son. Your chains to the world are broken and you are above their manipulations. The world is yours to observe unaffected by its chaos and petty misconceptions."

Everything was clear. He could feel, yes, but the panic that scrambled his thoughts was gone. It left behind cool logic and frosted emotion.

She had done this. She had delivered him and returned him to himself. Mother.

Yazoo opened his eyes. The men in the lab coats stared at him in shock. One of them hurried to shut off the machine. Another took the metal from his temples.

"What do you feel? Do you understand what I am telling you?"

Yazoo smiled. It was cold and predatory and made the men take a step back.

"I understand."

AN- Sorry I was in kind of a weird mood when I wrote this….

Review anyways?


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